LifeisaParade

I suppose anyone who loves parties can say the same thing: that parties stop time, that there are moments that can only occur at parties that can and will be crystallized and become lifelong memories and snapshots, and that since it’s a created space, and a curated guest list, it is a sort of theater production.

I just watched the documentary "Ingrid Bergman in Her Own Words" (2015).  What struck me was how happy she was. I expected to learn about her tragedies and heartbreaks, because she simultaneously radiates joy and a certain beautiful melancholy that I find completely enchanting--and I was certain was born of some sort of terrible Nordic tragedies. But and while she had significant losses in her life early on--the film began with her 1929 diary entry about all the people (including her father) who had died that year--it seemed she left sadness behind in Sweden once she came to the States.  Letter after letter to her friend Mollie expressed how happy she was...and who wouldn't be, arriving at the home of David Selznick who held a party for her that included Clark Gable, Greta Garbo, and so many others it sounded like a Hollywood fairy tale. And that was just the beginning...everything else seemed to fall gracefully into her lap-- and she lapped it up. "What a feeling when your dreams come true" she wrote to Mollie. 

My Aunt Sandy died early this morning. A few hours and many texts with my cousin later, I thought, "Oh great, now I have another day in January to be haunted by!"